Mommies Say The Weirdest Things

Call me Mother of the Year.

I've realized the most bizarre things have left my mouth over the last five years of motherhood. These are, in no particular order, some of the things I've said to my kids over the last month. Yes, there are stories attached to all, and I may even relate those later. Special bonus to those who guess which kid got which saying!

"We do not fling the cat!"

"I don't care how cute you are, the dog is not to be used as target practice."

"Sure, bacon's a good secret ingredient to trail mix." (Don't ask. Seriously.)

"Fingers are not food. Neither are feet."

"We do not take toys that aren't ours."

"Get the shoelace out of your mouth. Get the dog's tail out of your mouth."

"When taking a shower, it helps to get under the water."

"Dog food is not your food."

"I'll tell you when it's Kindergarten Day!"

"The changing table is not a jungle gym."

Call me Mother of the Year.