Remembering

Call me Mother of the Year.

For once, I am not writing about my kids. I am instead writing for my kids.

A friend wrote a most interesting question on her Facebook Wall last night. She asked how we parents who's children were too young to remember or not yet born on 9/11 answer questions about that day. I'm choosing to place my answer here.

On that day in the near future when my brilliant, empathetic son asks if I was in New York or Washington, D.C. that day, I will answer him honestly.

I was not. His aunt, Evil Twin, was on Capitol Hill as the Pentagon was struck.

I will not tell him her story. I don't even know it all. But I will tell him that I was in my college apartment when I heard the quaking fear in his Nana's voice as she called me to let me know my sister was evacuating Capitol Hill in case of an attack and would be out of touch. I will tell him of the absolute relief I felt when his Papa called to let me know she was in her apartment, safe, and would call me after she had talked to our family. I will tell him it took her five hours to get through to me. I will tell him of my absolute pride in her when she told me she was going back to work the next day.

I don't know if I can tell him that I cried as I watched the towers fall in New York waiting for her to call our parents. I don't know if I can tell him that the only thing scarier than knowing the person I was closest to was terrified was hearing the fear in my parents' voices. I don't know if I can tell him that it felt as though I was paralyzed with fear, hearing of the plane going down in Pennsylvania and knowing how close she was to danger. Unbelievably, ten years have gone by. I still don't know if I can say this to him or if he'll have to read it here.

I will share with him the calls of support our parents and I received from family and friends. I will tell him we weren't alone, and that helped. I will tell him the firefighters and police who went into those buildings were heroes, as were the soldiers who went to war to protect us.

I won't be watching television today. I can't. Instead, I'll hold Peanut and Tula close and remind them again how much I love them. I'll call Evil Twin and listen if she wants to talk. Tomorrow, I'll remind myself why I still live in hope. Today, though, I'll be quiet.

And remember.

Call me Mother of the Year.